I often think that each person has his or her own rhythm of life. I was really interested to see the choice of the celebrity contestants for Dancing with the Stars this season. Of course I could not be disappointed with the legendary Gladys Knight, whose music of the 70's and 80's, for me, is unforgettable. Martina Navratilova who instantly takes my memory back to her performances at Wimbledon and the afternoon strawberry cream teas I enjoyed while watching the matches. Dear Melissa Gilbert, who personified early American family life and all that motherhood and apple pie embraces. The three speak to me as ultimate voice, ultimate sport, and ultimate…
I used to watch this program in Britain called “Ready, Steady, Cook,” which was such fun. The idea was that each contestant would bring 5 ingredients and the chefs would use those, plus what they had in the fridge and the larder, to produce a 2 or 3-course meal. I loved this program. Having been single for some years, acquiring a good circle of support friends and making new ones is very important. I love to cook, because cooking is about loving. It is really difficult to cook for somebody you do not like, but for those you feel good about nothing is too much trouble. In thinking how to…
I love watching all the bird nesting get underway. I look at the trees, bushes, and eves to see where a new nest might appear. The repeated return of a bird in the same flight path is such a give away. Of course, every year we have the swifts that go back to their usual building place. We have all kinds of birds, but I am especially fond of the blue birds as their song is so beautiful. A few years ago the greatest thing happened when a blue bird made it's nest and actually laid eggs. The young hatched out and I was so excited to see all the…
It was a wonderful time six years ago when some of the peacocks from our neighbors decided to wonder over to our property. They settled in and hung out around our buildings each day. I thought it was wonderful to have the presence of birds so regal and gracious. One day some contractors had arrived on site to do some flooring. At the end of the day there seemed to be some loud noises going on at the front of the building. My son went out there to see what the disturbance was and he caught one of the workman who had captured one of our peacocks and was trying…
There are those things in life that take you by surprise and change your thinking perspective forever. I was taking a small road trip with my two young children to visit an herb farm. It all seemed very straightforward although I knew I was going into a bit of a rural area. I headed off with the desire for discovery driving me on. I turned off the highway onto the country road, which was winding down to the river. This was all more windy and narrow than I had expected, the rain was falling and I was feeling anxious. I had the wiper blades on full action but could still…
Have you had those times when you are so angry that nothing can make you feel better? It's funny the sorts of things that can make you feel upset. The drivers that honk their horn at you and you have no idea what you have done to upset them. The person that takes credit for your wonderful idea. The 'best friend' that passed along some information that was clearly confidential. The list goes on and on including being 'de-friended' from Facebook. One of my worst moments was when I was in the grocery store with my cart full chock a block to the gunnels. I was pushing it carefully and…
Sometimes as you are moving through life things happen that give you joy and every time you remember them a new smile comes to your face. I will always remember the first time I went to Chicago, a town I have now come to love, to attend a JCAHO conference. This organization accredits and certifies more than 19,000 health care organizations and programs in the United States. I had been to the conference and was walking back to the hotel along Michigan Avenue. I was window-shopping and trying to keep warm when I heard my name being called pretty loudly. I stopped in my tracks as I did not know…
When I was growing up in the South of England we always were prepared for the March winds. Not biting cold, but pretty strong for England. One of my favorite early spring flowers is the lovely white snowdrop with all its clean beauty. Flowers are like women who often absorb things that are around them. I have noticed, as the years have gone by, that often-learned behavior from mothers to daughters is very real. I did a little experiment with the snowdrops and put about five snowdrop stems in little vases. I added food coloring to each of the little vases and low and behold over the next day or…
Fear is one of those all-powerful things for both good and less good. It can both protect and paralyze, can create total performance or no performance. I can remember many times when I just didn't like the look of a door, an entrance, the way the bell worked, or even the flowers in the front beds were enough to make me lose courage and walk away from an invitation that could have been great. I know so many women who live in the life of being one breath away from a full-blown anxiety attack. Too afraid to open a door and enter. I got a memo from the front office…
As I hunkered down in the garage on Friday night knowing this giant storm was headed our way, I was grateful to be living in a part of the country where these events are more isolated. I had some great plans for the evening, Cuban food with some close friends who are all great cooks. We went ahead with an early supper knowing the signs for the rest of the night were ominous. I was trying to remember all those tips about emergency preparedness and what would happen if something really serious did happen. It's at these moments in time I introspectively realize, life is made up of two things,…
Friday, 02 March 2012 19:22
Chop off their Heads for the Cirque du Soleil
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
Sometimes you wonder, 'how wrong can I really get things'. I had a little eye opener that has reminded me to make sure you always really know the facts before you take a course of action. The Cirque du Soleil is coming to town and I am very thrilled as I have been before and enjoyed the show tremendously. In fact I thought it would be a great opportunity to purchase some tickets and invite some of my good friends along with my son and go as a group. You know, one of those special treats. Of course, it's going to be a surprise for them. I am just asking…
Wednesday, 29 February 2012 21:22
Hailstones and Lightning. Do They Hit Twice?
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
I love my Range Rover. I feel safe and imagine that with the backing of 2.5 tons I am going to be okay in most situations. That was until last April when I was busily in my house watching the movie of William and Kate in the run up to the British Royal wedding. Without warning the banging started on the windows and to my horror there were puck-sized hailstones falling from the heavens. I grabbed my umbrella and rushed outside into the onslaught of falling ice only to realize that my lovely Range Rover had taken a beating beyond anything I could have imagined. There were dents from top…
The daffodils are out very early this year and I happened to see a whole beautiful field of them the other day. Suddenly my memory was triggered to years ago when my children's ages were still in single digits. We were sitting in the lounge of our Scottish home looking out on a field of beautiful golden daffodils loving this taste of spring on a lovely sunny morning. To my utter amazement I suddenly saw there was a little baby lamb walking through the flowers that must have somehow got through the hedge from the farm next door. Immediately we were all jumping up to go to the rescue. The…
Friday, 17 February 2012 15:44
Spring, Transitions & Emotional Preparedness
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
When people are in transitions in their lives it seems that emotional needs are pushed to the back burner as everybody is just looking for a way to make things work. There are those transitioning in and out of jobs, in and out of houses, in and out of relationships. Each of the transitions cause feelings of aloneness, and with the spring months looming the inherent need all have to be loved, accepted, wanted seems to make loneliness more acute. Early spring seems to be the period of greatest emotional starvation when somehow there isn't enough emotional warmth to hold on to. I have noticed that those who are experiencing…
Monday, 15 August 2011 20:09
Bryce Dallas Howard Waited Too Long to Get Help with Post Partum Depression
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
Planning and looking forward to having your baby is a wonderful and exciting event. The life change that having a baby can bring often means having to think through all the adjusting and juggling it is going to take. The realization, however, is often very different from the expectation. Post Partum is particularly difficult when you have your new baby and you feel nothing at all. In some cases, you just want to be away from your baby. Some cannot cope with the crying or the sheer presence of the new baby. Some call it baby blues and some know they are depressed but feel they must somehow pull out…
Seeing the explosion of riots in London shows you how quickly things can change. Many of the traumas I have heard about from the women I work with have come about from nothing they did at all. They were simply 'there' at the time. The trouble is, being just 'there' may develop feelings and memories which may make a person want to shut down. The body is amazing in the ways it deals with trauma and many women make a good recovery. Others just simply disassociate. Many women do not even know they disassociate, they just lose time and memory. For some, it is a trauma coping mechanism but it…
Friday, 05 August 2011 09:37
Depression, Women and the Bloodbath on Wall Street
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
I believe if a woman cannot be financially organized, then neither can she be emotionally organized. It shouldn't be surprising that when somebody feels they have been financially organized, to watch all this effort get wiped out is pretty devastating. Anything that batters a woman's self-belief system can send self-esteem through a tailspin and lead to serious bouts of depression and anxiety. The interesting thing about this is very often it sends women out on a spending episode, sometimes of manic proportions. It is quite common for women who experience various kinds of loss, including long term relationships, jobs, status, and self-identity to try to recover their self-identity through purchasing,…
As I work to help restore the lives of women suffering from depression, fear, and anxiety; I have noticed a pattern: a constant drive to buy. A belief that the answer to everything can ultimately be purchased. I believe this need to purchase helps drive an individual’s willingness to accept debt in pursuit of self-definition. I have found, however, the very opposite to be true. A person is usually defined by what they choose to give up rather than what they choose to acquire. When a person’s body comes under an organic attack threatening life itself, a shift in priorities happens. Let's take a man many of us greatly admire,…
Wednesday, 03 August 2011 01:21
Emotional Torment for the Family of Amy Winehouse
Written by Jacqueline Dawes
Since the loss of Amy Winehouse ten days ago, I have thought about the anguish, conflict, despair and pure pain her family will have to endure over the months and years to come. I know the feelings well having lost my own daughter, Julia, 13 years ago this week. No loss compares to that of your own child. You are never over it. You slowly and gradually learn to cope. Although Amy Winehouse’s cause of death is presently unknown, years of drug and alcohol abuse surely contributed to her untimely and tragic death. There are so many young women who experience depression, sadness, fear and anxiety. There are those who…
So the holidays are here again and for many of us we visualize it as a time of joy, happiness and release from work demands. We picture the perfectly decorated home, smiling family portraits, children singing and dancing around with glee, opening of ornately wrapped gifts, and carolers singing in perfect harmony on our doorsteps. If only it were that easy, right? The reality of this time is the stress and anxiety that is brought about with all of the event planning, home decorating, the school pageants, shopping, cooking and baking, finding the perfect gift (that is within our budgets which have already been pushed to the max), the family…
Okay, I'm sitting here surrounded by piles and piles of crumpled note paper. I have got to get this menu finalized. The only consistent item on each page is the turkey and now after talking to Gretchen, the official health nut in the family I'm not really sure if I should do an organic turkey or a regular turkey. To be honest with you I want lasagna! Now that will go over like a ton of bricks! I can see it now, all eyes glued to my beautiful covered roaster and voila! Lasagna. Yeah, that'll teach'em!!! Get back to reality Miriam. If you don't want heart attacks, World War III…
I had times when I just could not sleep. It was some of my most fearful times. I would go to bed hoping I would be able to fall into some kind of slumber and sometimes I would fall to sleep only to find myself awake at 1am with my mind racing about all kinds of things. I just wanted my mind to stop working so I could experience the pleasure of just one good nights sleep. It just kept alluding me. I tried everything but there I would be night after night wide awake. I felt so alone and things I would think of I could do nothing about.…
The last 10 years or so has produced a communication change of such phenomenal proportion. Lots of two dimensional responsiveness that has almost made body language become out of date, eye to eye contact an occasional expectation and the development of a good strong handshake something of times past. Over the last couple of years I have had a number of friends who have become victims of cyber bullying, but the fact is that it does not just remain bullying. One of my friends was embarking on a divorce when she suddenly started to receive a barrage of hate email from all kinds of email addresses. Turns out this was…
