It’s that time again! Class reunions are once again giving you the opportunity to meet up with many of the people you graduated high school with. For some people it has only been a few years, for others it has been decades. Imagine how it will feel to walk in to the reunion and remember all the good times you spent with your best friends. Across the way, you see your dearest friend from that time. As you rush across to her embrace, you start to shed tears of joy. It really is her!
“Wow! Look at you,” she says. “Really packed on the pounds haven’t you? Love the dress but it sure looks hideous on you. You should send it to me so you don’t go out in public like this again. And, two words, darling . . . wrinkle cream.”
How would that make you feel? More than likely, you would feel hurt and personally attacked. You would also question why your dear friend would be so harsh to you. You might even consider that she was lashing out due to her own emotional pain or possibly even out of jealousy. She kept your secrets and had your back for all of those high school years. How could she do this to you?
Now, consider that the situation is even worse than it appears because it isn’t your BFF telling you those things but someone even closer to you. Those comments are likely assailing you on a daily basis but they don’t come from another person. They come from you. As odd as that may sound, often times, our inner critic is much harsher on us than anyone else we know. We tell ourselves things that we would never dream of saying to another human. Would you ever honestly consider telling your sister, for example, that the dress she had chosen for your cousin’s wedding was beautiful but due to her figure hung off her like a flour sack? No? Then why would you tell yourself that? If you pick a dress that you like and it makes you feel good about yourself, you should wear it proudly.
We all need to make our inner critic our best friend but we just don’t know how to do that. Well, for starters, tell yourself only the positive thoughts that you would tell your friends. If you wouldn’t judge your friend’s weight, ease up on yourself a little. Before you use negative words or thoughts when looking in the mirror, picture your best friend in front of you. If you wouldn’t say it to her, don’t say it to yourself. Consider your feelings to be just as important as her feelings. As my mother always said, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. Become your biggest fan instead of your most harsh critic!
